


saproxylic beetles

by cramberries



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Encounters, Crack, Fluff, M/M, and the bees, basically confident vs panicked gay, conservationist xukun, english major ziyi, i'm so out of my depth hhdjd, other members aren't named but you can guess who they are, probably, save the beetles, slightly exaggerated height difference, some science talk, sugar daddy tendencies, very self indulgent, xukun centric, xukun is flustered, xukun knows invertebrates are where it's at, zhangjing nongnong linkai are mentioned, ziyi is greasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 22:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cramberries/pseuds/cramberries
Summary: [kunkun]i have no plans to keep hisprobably cum-crustedsweat-ripened crab-infestedfrat boy hoodiexukun is just trying to finish his degree in p e a c e!¡





	saproxylic beetles

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first fic i've written since i wrote 5sos fics in 2013 so,, if this is a mess that's why  
> gfgffghs thank you @ thas + niamh + nissan for proof reading  
> this is inspired by i dream i had whilst dehydrated at the beach :)))  
> listen to soccer mommy and vampire weekend whilst reading for an enhanced experience

it requires more, xukun believes, than a casual fondness for invertebrates for a person to sacrifice their saturday night (whilst in the prime of their life) in favour of freezing their balls off for the sake of science. or so he tells himself 6 hours into the fifth night of a research project that involves monitoring the populations of bark beetles living on an oak tree in the centre of campus. s i x hours in. six whole hours spent straddling a branch of an old oak tree gives one nothing but arse splinters and a life destined to be spent as a social outcast.

finally, at around 4 a.m, xukun dropped down onto the path below him. it was early May but the weather didn’t seem to have gotten the memo - the last snowfall had only melted a few weeks ago and xukun could feel his blood starting to crystallise and form icicles in his veins. to be fair, it was his own fault for going out in only a t-shirt and sweatpants. although, on another, much more real, level it was his idiot roommate's fault (huang fucking minghao) for stealing all his clothes. his mind was hazy with sleep deprivation and dehydration (all the good stuff). in his delirious state he didn’t notice the figure barrelling down the path towards him - that is until they collided and xukun ricocheted backwards, landing sprawled on his back under the tree.

through his squinted, from the pain, eyes, xukun saw the stranger holding a hand out to him.  
he took it and was pulled up. the boy’s strength surprised him. maybe, even more surprising, was that the stranger was taller than him. xukun was used to being able to assert dominance through his height, but now, with this stranger, his flickering eyes betrayed his anxiety. most people had to crane their necks - or at least adjust their stance - to look xukun in the eyes, their perspective often made his eyes look narrowed and his aura seem cold.  
it was great when you were trying to speed up a slow barista, and not so great when you were trying to make friends. consequently, xukun’s friendship group consisted mostly of other giant people.

not that the height thing was a problem with the strong, tall stranger (who was staring intensely at xukun and was very very very very very hot). shit

both of them spewed out a flurry of apologies. xukun dusted himself off as the boy caught his breath. he could feel the boy’s heavy gaze on him; it lingered for longer than usual but not long enough for xukun to want to fry his skin off with acid.  
now it made sense, to xukun at least, for him to thank the stranger and skedaddle back to his dorm.

obviously this guy didn’t share his view because the first thing he said was “sorry but where the fuck did you come from?”

xukun was startled. “i- what?”

“you literally appeared from nowhere”

xukun looked around, hoping to see another person who could save him from this conversation. but, alas, there was no one around except him and this guy. “i was in the tree”

“right. of course you were. why?”

“beetles”, he had actually formed a full sentence response - it just got lost somewhere on the way to his mouth, as he noticed that the way the stranger’s hair fell perfectly in wavy curtains on either side of his face.

“huh, you’re pretty weird.”

xukun had no answer. he couldn’t remember anything he’d said. his attention had been captured by the way this guy tilted his head when he was thinking. and the way he smirked but it didn’t seem arrogant or creepy. it was warm? and his hair sort of shimmered. not in like a greasy way. more in like a ‘i’m an angel and i deep condition once a week with magical unicorn conditioner’ kind of way. but you could still tell that he had fuck boy tendencies.

a sudden movement brought xukun back to reality. the stranger had reached forward (to do one of those guy hug/embrace/high-five/no homo things??) and xukun’s reflexes had taken the wheel, and now he found himself backed against the trunk of the oak tree.

apparently this didn’t seem too strange in because the guy smirked (aGAIN) and continued reaching forwards - going in for a shoulder pat instead. however, rather than that ending their shared weird uni experience, the stranger recoiled. “you’re so cold”

“...sorry?”

“you’re fucking freezing”

xukun stared back at him, managing to maintain eye contact for at least three seconds, and straightened up a little. not that being told you’re “fucking freezing” was necessarily an insult. but still, who was this random early morning jogger (possibly?? xukun didn’t know what he’d been doing before they’d collided) to tell him that he was cold! as though he wasn’t already aware

the stranger was now taking off his hoodie and xukun was paying a lot of attention, “here, take this”, he said and thrusted it towards xukun - who didn’t take it.

“that’s-  
no you can-  
i don’t-  
it’s-“

whilst he’d been protesting, the oddly generous stranger had forcefully pushed his hoodie over xukun’s head. now he’d stood back to admire his work. deciding it wasn’t yet finished, he lunged forwards and started stuffing xukun’s arms through the sleeves. xukun just sort of went with it. at least the hoodie was soft and the guy’s hands warm.

once he was done, he smiled properly. he had nice teeth. and a nice smile. and toned arms, now that they weren’t obscured by his hoodie.

“okay see you around”

“wait! don’t you want this back?”

“oh. right, yeah. give me your phone and i’ll give you my number”

xukun blushed, but he didn’t think it was noticeable due to the lack of a risen sun. hopefully. he obediently handed over his phone. the still nameless stranger typed in his details and sent himself a text whilst chuckling, then handed back xukun’s phone.

with a final sigh he waved and turned to leave. only to immediately spin around and walk back towards xukun. he reached over and flipped the hood of his hoodie over xukun’s head. then (and this was really the last straw for xukun, for his weak heart and for his lack of romantic and sexual experiences) pulled out one of xukun’s curls so it fell across his forehead. kind of like tintin. maybe tintin was a turn on for this guy because after doing this he looked satisfied with their interaction. he turned round again and broke off into a run.

xukun murmured out a soft “bye” - not that anyone could hear him - and watched the figure disappear round the corner of a nearby campus coffee shop. he looked down at his phone and read what the stranger had put in.

 

 

 

 

**contact name : ziyi  
** **number : 0728*********

**[???]**  
hey cool dude  
with warm clothes

as he was reading, xukun got a text from the now named stranger, ziyi

 

 **[ziyi]**  
hey cold weird  
beetle cutie

[contact saved as ‘beetle cutie’]

xukun wasn’t equipped to handle this by himself.

 

back in his room, xukun thought about waking up minghao but he looked so tiny and peaceful nestled up in his duvet that xukun decided to let him rest. even though if someone actually wore their own clothes, instead of stealing their roommate’s, xukun’s heart could have been saved a lot of stress.

so he chose to bother a person he knew would definitely be awake. someone who thrives on meddling in his life even when it wasn’t necessary, so would probably get a hard on just from knowing that xukun was really desperate enough to turn to him…

 

 

 

 

**realest bitch**

 

 

**[kunkun]  
** story time i was assaulted??!?!

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
lmao  
who would want to bother u

 

 **[kunkun]  
** and what is that supposed to mean

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** u have three friends and no social skills

 

 **[kunkun]  
** keep talking and ur blockedt

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
ok sure  
jgdsfui  
jjugdsbm  
mbccguukkk  
Hdsetuh  
X  
U  
K  
U  
N

 

 

 **[kunkun]**  
shut up jfc  
fuck u  
i knew i should’ve gone to minghao instead

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
no wait  
i want to know  
tell me  
pwease  
pwetty pwease  
ily uwu

 

 **[kunkun]**  
this is disgusting  
ur like 30 stop

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** i’m two years older than u

 

 **[kunkun]  
** that sounds fake but ok

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** i’m going to bed

 

 **[kunkun]**  
hhsdhhhsdhhh  
i’m sorrryyyyu  
let me explain

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** fucking finally

 

 **[kunkun]**  
this random guy gave me his hoodie  
and i didn’t realise until i got home  
but it’s balenciaga and costs like £500

 

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
i cant believe you’ve done this  
i need a sugar daddy 83939%  
more than u do

 

 **[kunkun]**  
i have no plans to keep his  
probably cum-crusted  
sweat-ripened crab-infested  
frat boy hoodie

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** probably

 

 **[kunkun]  
** what?

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
u said probably but it’s literally  
in front of u so u should be able  
to tell if it’s cum-crusted or whatever

 

 **[kunkun]**  
oK SO  
it’s actually cleaner than most  
of my clothes  
but STJLL  
i don’t want it

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** give jt back then

 

 **[kunkun]  
** jjxxjxcantjxjjxjxjj

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** oh?

 

 **[kunkun]  
** what is oh?

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** i see

 

 **[kunkun]  
** say what u have to say snsksks

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** do u happen to know this guy’s name

 

 **[kunkun]  
** yea

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** and?

 

 **[kunkun]**  
ziyi  
...

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
IMBD CACKDLIBBD  
WANG ZIYI???  
U WHORE  
JAKWEJEJE  
U CANT GJVEVIT BACK BC  
SAHAHAHAHASSHSHSH

 

 **[kunkun]**  
just say ur homophobic and go¡  
zhu zhengting  
e x p l a i n y o u r s e l f

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
IM NKT AURPRISEDJ SKSK  
TJIS IS SO U  
ONE HOTTIE TALKS TO U ONCE AND  
U RUN AWAYSNSMS  
LELSKSDSDK

 

 **[kunkun]  
** THATS NKT THE PROVLEM

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** SO HES NLT HOT

 

 **[kunkun]**  
I DKDNT  
SAY THAGT

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
I SIT BEHIBD HIM IN MY ENGLISH  
LIT LECTURES  
I KNKW HES HOT

 

 **[kunkun]**  
NNHHHHHH  
HELP ME

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
FGHHHFDDS  
DO U HVE HJS NUMBFR

 

 **[kunkun]  
** YESSH

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
OMFGH  
JUST ASK HIN WHEN HE WANTS IT BACK

 

 **[kunkun]**  
GOD  
OKKKK  
BYE

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** GGJGDSF GKODNITE

 

 **[kunkun]  
** SHUT UP

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** NEVER

 

 

 

 

 

**wang ziyi**

 

 

**[beetle cutie]**  
hey um  
when do you want ur hoodie back

 

 **[wang ziyi]**  
i’ve decided  
u can keep it

 

 **[beetle cutie]**  
thank you  
but i’d rather not

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** why

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** why don’t u want it back

 

 **[wang ziyi]**  
looks better on u  
y don’t u want to keep it

 

 **[beetle cutie]**  
hhshhsgh  
it’s worth every item of clothing i have added together

 

 **[wang ziyi]**  
tough shit  
it’s urs  
your wardrobe can thank me

 

 **[beetle cutie]**  
here’s the thing  
i’m perfectly happy with my current wardrobe

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** really

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** yes really

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** oof okay

 

 **[beetle cutie]**  
fuck u  
now ur definitely getting it back

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** but u look so cute in it

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** i’m not cute

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** ur sweater paws disagree

 **[beetle cutie]  
** ok well i’m going to sleep so

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** sweet dreams gorgeous

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** that’s so much worse than cutie though

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** make ur mind up baby

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** u could use my actual name

 

 **[wang ziyi]  
** and that is?

 

 **[beetle cutie]  
** x u k u n

 

_[read at 05:17]_

 

 

something about ziyi leaving him on read irked xukun more than it should have. it wasn’t like they were friends or close in any way. they had met for a few minutes not even an hour and a half before. ziyi didn’t necessarily owe xukun a response. if he had sent one though, xukun might have just sold the hoodie on depop and left it, instead he was planning ways to sneak into ziyi’s dorm and give it back. step one: find out where he lives.

zhengting should have guessed he was going to be in for a shitstorm of a day as soon as he spilt coffee over his linguistics textbook at breakfast. that’s the kind of sign you get and immediately go back to bed. the day’s a write-off. did he take advantage of his warning from the gods? no. so, there he was, trying not to miss another lecture this month (his tutor had been in a pissy mood since his wife left him or something else, equally as depressing, had happened) when xukun cornered him and started rambling on about his newest crackhead idea. it ended with zhengting giving him ziyi’s address - which seemed like a major breach of privacy and might make him an accomplice in whatever illegal activities xukun was currently involved in. he ended up getting to the lecture on time. only for ziyi to turn around and start playing one-sided 21 questions about this guy he’d met on campus in the early hours of the morning, whilst trying to find his roommate’s pet goose, before it was found by uni caretakers who would (for obvious reasons) take it away. he was asking zhengting because he thought he’d seen them around together and needed to know the lengths xukun would go to in order to return someone else’s belongings. after that, he tried to update his laptop’s software and consequently had to wait four hours for it to finish installing, by which time, he’d missed the deadline for an essay worth 15% of his final grade.

he didn’t want to know what stupid shit his arsehole friends had been getting up to as they ruined his life. they deserved each other.

xukun’s day, on the other hand, had started out well. the data he’d collected the night before supported his hypothesis and his tutor sent him an enthusiastic reply to his most recent thesis draft. he’d seen zhengting when he was on his way to a microbiology lecture and got ziyi’s address off of him. then, at lunch with minghao and zhangjing, it turned out that zhangjing had been in a group project with ziyi’s roommate and they’d ended up becoming good friends. the type of friends who have keys to the other’s apartment in case one of them passes out for 20 hours, after three consecutive all nighters, during exam season and needs the other to come over and make sure they’re not dead. xukun made a mental note to definitely go to church next time he went home, only divine intervention could have brought about this series of fortunate events. and that was how xukun “broke” into ziyi’s apartment. (although, does it count as breaking in if you have keys?)

xukun is a petty person, and mr wang bighead ziyi had disrespected him one too many times. if he was giving this hoodie back, he wasn’t leaving it gift-wrapped and easy to find. also, the longer it took for it to be found, the longer it would be before ziyi was in xukun’s notifs being greasy (him being hot and xukun being so very incredibly thirsty were irrelevant). xukun had essays to write and beetles to study and classes to pas!!! with this in mind, he hid the hoodie in a spare pillowcase and threw the pillow under ziyi’s bed. MI5 hit him up, he’s a jobless student with a talent for espionage.

he was leaving apartment block handcuff-free so the mission was, all-in-all, a success. or so he thought. as xukun exited the building’s lift he walked into a warm body, belonging to bighead ziyi. for the second time in 24 hours. given the great day he’d had, evaporating from embarrassment and stress now wouldn’t be a bad way to go. if he avoided eye contact, maybe he could get out unnoticed.

“i get that you’re obsessed with me, but you can just text me if you want to see me. there’s no need to wait on my doorstep”

“here we fucking go”, xukun thought rather than said because, as is already established, he disliked in real life confrontation.

it took a few seconds for his brain to get past the loading page, but once it did it formed the impressive response, “oh, is this not my building?” well done xukun, you’re an A* student.

ziyi wheezed, “no princess, it isn’t.”

“strange. i think where i live looks similar,” forget MI5, xukun deserved an oscar - he was giving the performance of his life - and the only person here to see it was his maybe, sort of, unwanted sugar daddy. his talent was being wasted. not to mention that xukun’s shared flat was worlds away from this. ziyi’s apartment block fit perfectly with his rich bitch aesthetic and xukun could not relate, but he was committed to the lie now.

xukun watched as ziyi titled his head slightly, like he knew this whole conversation was bullshit but he was cool with xukun digging himself into a deeper hole. “beetles must really occupy a lot of your thoughts, huh? anyways, i’ve got an essay due at midnight that i haven’t started, so see you around maybe?” ziyi said this casually, as he stepped around xukun, and ruffled his hair.

it was only after the lift doors closed that xukun’s brain finished processing their latest interaction. first of all, he was confident that he’d told ziyi his name - yet he kept up with his use of insufferable pet names. second, xukun’s hair produced enough grease on its one, it didn’t need ziyi adding to it. third, ziyi had very soft hands and he always seemed to be warm.

he might have walked back to where he actually lived smiling but no one needs to know that.

 

 

 

 

**realest bitch**

 

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
did u  
idk  
possibly  
break the law today

 

 **[kunkun]**  
i’m not 100% sure  
like its questionable

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
get it together  
please

 

 **[kunkun]**  
gshshs  
how did u know

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
i’m psychic  
also ziyi thiinks u broke into his home  
i said u’re too much of a goody two shoes to do that  
but then i remebered  
that u’re scary af sometimes  
and u asked for his address today so

 

 **[kunkun]**  
it’s not looking good for me thne  
has he found anything  
or is it just suspicions

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
found wHAT  
no he hasn’t  
wait  
do i want to know what u did

 

 **[kunkun]**  
who do uu think i am  
i didn’t install a pervert cam in his bathroom

 

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** but u did leave something

 

 **[kunkun]**  
yes  
i took ur adivce

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
i  
have never told u  
to trespass on private property  
ever

 

 **[kunkun]  
** i had a key though

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
um wtf  
from whom

 

 **[kunkun]  
** zhangjing <3

 

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** makes sense

 

 **[kunkun]**  
i left the hoodie  
but in a hIDdeN place

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
u couldn’t have just given it back  
idk like a sane person

 

 **[kunkun]**  
he refused to take it  
origisnlly i was just going to sell it  
but he forced my hand

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
mgshs iz it thisss deep  
why not just keep it  
you have another two years of uni  
why reject a suagr dasddy?

 

 **[kunkun]  
** i dont like feeling like a concubine

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
ooh bitch  
u live like this

 

 **[kunkun]**  
ugh i have to go  
research night no. 6

 

 

 **[realest bitch]  
** tell ur beetle friends i said hi

 

 **[kunkun]  
** choke

 

 

 **[realest bitch]**  
that’s meannn  
ur mean¡

 

_[read at 21:34]_

 

 

compared to the previous evening, the night was relatively mild and xukun clambered up into a different tree to begin setting up his equipment. he used a stethoscope to listen into the tree and locate the quiet and constant rustle of beetles within. every hour or so, he changed positions and used a hook to burrow into the trunk of the dying oak and lure out beetles within. sometimes, he got distracted by spiders or squirrels or nesting birds, but generally he stayed on task. a deep admiration of invertebrates and also the university's research grant (apparently researching pests was a university priority but xukun wasn’t complaining, it was nice to be able to eat not ramen for once), kept him focused.

he was so absorbed that night that he didn’t notice another person climbing, or at least trying to, his tree up. it wasn’t until a hand slammed down next to him. xukun yelped and his stethoscope slipped from round his neck. another hand hooked around the branch and a slightly sweaty ziyi appeared, smiling but out of breath. xukun shifted along, careful not to add any more splinters to his current collection, and ziyi swung his body up and settled in the tree. if he was being honest, xukun revelled a little bit in seeing someone who had so far been very put together, looking like a hot mess. maybe that was why xukun didn’t feel his usual level of fluster and was able to give full sentence responses. what a difference 24 hours makes!

 

“jesus, do you do this every night?”

“why, struggling a bit are you?”

“just a tad,” ziyi chanced a look a down and winced, “you couldn’t have chosen to do this closer to the ground?”

“oh sorry, next time you interrupt my fieldwork i’ll make sure it’s not somewhere that makes you feel uncomfortable,” there was a beat of silence before both of them giggled.

“so, are you going to elaborate further than just ‘beetles’ today? or is your research a secret?”

it was quiet for a moment. only the sounds of leaves rustling and the rush of traffic filled the night.

he knew he had to reply, “i’m doing a survey on bark beetle populations and the influence of pesticides on them, so interesting stuff. it’s kind of boring but i like beetles and stuff like this is good experience for work when i graduate.”

ziyi had been watching him closely as he spoke, xukun must have been feeling brave because he noticed his eyes on him and raised an eyebrow. ziyi wasn’t expecting it either, his cheeks tinted a rosy pink and his eyes flicked up to sky. “i get why you like them. there’s what, 350,000 species of beetles so that basically guarantees something for everyone.”

his beetle knowledge was hot. xukun was running out of reasons not to give in to his attraction. he knew this wasn’t genuine interest but xukun decided to test how far down the wikipedia page ziyi had read (zhengting had a lot of slimy friends and xukun was not about to be duped by one of them). “oh, do you have a favourite species then?”

“you know, i’d have to say weevils. not gonna lie, based 95% on their name and 5% on their noses”

every last ounce of reserve xukun had had evaporated, vanished, flew from his body; he visibly shivered, which of course ziyi saw.

“i’d give you something to keep you warm but you don’t appreciate my gifts…”

“first, i’m not cold. second, you gave me a ridiculously expensive hoodie after a not even 10 minute conversation, like that’s a normal thing to do. anyway i couldn’t wear it today because i no longer have it,” this was the most xukun had said to him in their whole 24 hours of knowing each other.

“you weren’t playing when you said you didn’t want it wow,” ziyi looked amused but not offended, “what did you do with it?”

“threw it into a lake, but more importantly which crime syndicate are you running that allows you to live how you live?”

he let out a full bark of laughter at this, “no erm, my dad runs the family law firm but it’s really not that big of a deal,” the streetlight glinted in his eyes as he leaned back on their branch.

“ok and just one last thing: do you go jogging at 4 a.m. regularly or?”

“i- not usually no,” he stared up at the stars again before it clicked and he smirked his annoying, cute smirk,”my friend linkai’s pet escaped and they’re very close, so i was helping look.”

“he lost his goose?!” xukun whipped his head round to face ziyi fully.

“you know him too? damn how did we not meet until second year when all of our friends know each other?”

this time, xukun didn’t reply, his brain was putting everything together. ziyi had no mafia connections, probably, and wasn’t into morning runs and he obviously had only read the first three paragraphs of the beetle entry on wikipedia to impress xukun but it was cute anyway. other than his sugar daddy tendencies he was a normal, person, and they had mutual crazy friends.

ziyi was still talking, not really about anything in particular, xukun thought it had something to do with a book he was reading for his english lit course.

he mentally readied himself, gripped his stethoscope firmly and made direct, intense eye contact with the other boy, “what are you doing on saturday?”

xukun was ready for rejection. he was trying to work out the easiest way to jump out the tree without seriously injuring himself, so that he could continue running when he hit the ground. then all he had to was get home and barricade himself in. minghao would probably have some objections - but it’s not like he did anything other than sleep and whine on facetime to his boyfriend when he wasn’t at lecture anyway - he’d have to deal with it. after a few days hiding out in his flat, xukun could get on the next flight going out of the continent. somewhere in south america would be ideal, his childhood dream was to be a herpetologist and south america was a prime spot for amphibians. he was halfway to University De São Paulo when ziyi replied.

“yeah, i’m free”

xukun hadn’t really thought this scenario through further than his initial question. he’d been expecting a no.

“would-”

“yes,” maybe he was a mind reader, because it ziyi hadn’t interrupted then xukun was about to back out.

they stared at each other for a few seconds longer before breaking out into giggles. xukun knew he was about to give in 100% to his feelings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_three months later_

 

 

 

 

 

**bighead♡**

 

 

 **[bighead♡]**  
i have a present for you  
i’ll be at your flat in like  
10 mins

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** i just got up though

 

 **[bighead♡]**  
snsksk  
it’s 2pm

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** and?

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** omg

 

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** open the door

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** coming

 

ziyi was on his doorstep with a large build-a-bear teddy in his hands. as soon as xukun opened the door, he swooped in to kiss him, pressed the bear into his hands and then left.

 

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]**  
um mr bighead  
wtf

_[read 14:17]_

later in the day, xukun was typing up an essay in bed, hugging his present (now named bighead jr), when he realised how lumpy it was.

xukun was above anything, a scientist with an oath to investigate. he went into the kitchen and selected their sharpest pair of scissors from the utensils holder.  
returning to his bedroom, xukun began to unseam the bear, starting from its neck.

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]**  
um mr bighead  
what the actual fuck  
part 2

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** …

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** how did you even do it???

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** nongnong works there

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]**  
djsjsk  
and he helped you with this psychotic plan???

 

 **[bighead♡]**  
pSyCHoTiC  
you broke into my apartment one (1) day after knowing me

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** to return it to you

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** now i’m returning it to you

wjth added love <3

and a friend to cuddle 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** bBUT I STIKL DONT WANT IT

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** YOU HAVE SO MANY OF MY THINGS ALREADY AT THIS POINT

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** THIS IS DIFFEreNT

 

 **[bighead♡]  
** SURE THING PRINCESS

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]**  
S T O P  
I HATEYOU SO MCUX

[bighead♡]  
KBSJEKSHS  
BYE THEN

 

 **[beetle cutie♡]  
** NSNN BYE

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this !!!  
> hmu on twt if u wanna be friends ´･ᴗ･` [@givenchany](https://twitter.com/givenchany)
> 
>  
> 
> edit 21/08/18: thank you so much!!! for reading this and leaving kudos or commenting!!!! i’m sorry if i take a long time/don’t reply to your comments, i read and appreciate each one, sometimes i just don’t know how to respond hdhdh


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